COMMAND? (12-15-2011)

Thomas the Pretty-Wise entered the chamber. In it, he could see a woman wearing very little clothing, bound by a hissing snake in a circle of candles. A doll was also in the snake’s possession, with a bowl of some liquid sitting on the ground. There were exits to the North and South.

Thomas tapped his feet, thinking. After trying to USE his backpack several times, he remembered that he had to OPEN it first. LOOKing inside, he saw: Platinum Hammer, Used Prophylactic, Cannonball, Box Of Snake Poison. He smiled, deciding to TAKE the Box Of Snake Poison.

Once he USEd it, he was halfway through opening the box before the snake lashed out with blinding speed, tearing his body to shreds with its needle-like teeth. Thomas blinked, finding himself eye-to-eye with a skeleton in a black cloak. Again. He waved to Death.

The skeleton clapped him on the arm. “It was a sad thing that your adventures ended there. What was it this time? Let your torch go out?”

“No. That at least made sense when it happened. I can see myself cracking my head open after I tripped on something in the dark. This time, all I wanted to do was to USE a Box Of Snake Poison on a snake to kill it. Is that really not what I’m supposed to do?”

Death shrugged, his bones clattering. “Beats using a metal star to kill a dragon. I had to collect that guy’s body almost a hundred times before he used the right item. He was using individual books he’d found around the castle by that point. When you’re using “Lusty Barmaid Tales’ to try to put down a dragon, you’ve got to be some kind of desperate.”

Thomas sighed. “It’s labelled ‘Box Of Snake Poison.’ How is that not the right item?”

Death was about to answer, but then there was a flash of light, a man in a trench coat appearing before them. He grumbled, nodding to the knight and the spectre of death without any show of surprise.

“You OPEN the door to your office without LOOKing through the window again, detective?”

The detective laughed, rubbing at where the bullet had entered his skull, ending his case. “LOOKs like. I just get so carried away OPENing doors, sometimes. Saves me time later.”

Thomas perked up. “I hear you. I constantly TAKE anything that I can get my hands on. More than once, it’s gotten me killed. It’s a bad habit.”

The detective USEd a Lighter with his Cigarette. He was about to say something when poison gas shot out of his mouth, and he fell to the floor, his bones melting inside his skin. His case ended there.

A moment later and he popped up in between them again, cursing under his breath. “Well, that’s going to be handy to know later. Anyway, what I was gonna say is that maybe we should go LOOK at the situation together. Maybe we can come up with something if we help each other out.”

Death snapped his bony fingers, bringing them to a chamber where they could see a woman wearing very little clothing, bound by a hissing snake in a circle of candles. A doll was also in the snake’s possession, with a bowl of some liquid sitting on the ground. There were exits to the North and South.

The detective LOOKed inside Thomas’s bag, seeing: Platinum Hammer, Used Prophylactic, Cannonball, Box Of Snake Poison. He LOOKed at Thomas. “Did you use the Box Of Snake Poison?”

“Already tried it. Got me killed.”

The detective LOOked back in the bag, deciding to TAKE Platinum Hammer. The snake snapped out, eating the detective in a single bite. His case ended there. Death LOOKed into the bag as well, and soon he USEd the Cannonball. The snake splashed him with the bowl of liquid, the acid devouring his bones and reducing them to a puddle on the floor. His quest was over.

“Really?” Thomas asked himself as he LOOKed at the last item. A single USE of the Used Prophylactic had him waving it in the air and throwing it. The snake, thinking it was another serpent, slithered after it, leaving him to collect the woman and the doll.

He leaned over to TAKE the Doll before he helped the woman. She turned into a werewolf before his eyes, ripping his skin off with her razor claws. “You should have HIT me with the heavy Box Of Snake Poison, first!”

It was a sad thing that his adventures ended there.