The colossus bore down on the small hamlet, its emerald eyes glowing in the morning sun. The brilliant green light was oddly comforting despite the creature’s terrible meaning, so much so that many of the village’s inhabitants pulled out small guitars and began tuning them incessantly. Hacky sacks also began to appear, a symbol of hope against the oncoming doom.
The town’s minister of defense leaned back in his lawnchair, pulling his hemp tuque from over his eyes to better survey the creature. He took a deep breath before turning to look at the mayor. “Colossus is here to destroy us, I guess.”
The mayor waited until he beat the level he was on before putting down his controller. He brushed the dreadlocks from his eyes. “Where’s the chosen one, man? Isn’t there, like, a prophecy about some dude coming to save us or something? No need to get all bent out of shape and interrupt my game, bro.”
The minister of defense snickered. “Ha, I forgot. He’ll come riding in on a flaming horse or whatever any minute now. When he does, it’s my turn to play the game.”
The colossus’ eyes fell upon the fields outside the city, pulsing light shooting out of his eyes and slamming into the earth. The ground splintered on contact, hurling millions of dollars in illegal plants into the air and incinerating them. The mayor and minister were on their feet in an instant, charging toward the field.
Once there, the mayor leveled a finger at the giant creature, drawing its attention. “Hey man, what’s your problem? Just like the 1% to try to take something away from the common man. You know, it’s our hard work that got you to the place you are.”
The colossus turned on them, its face blank. “I am Destroyer. You are unworthy of my sacred oblivion. Where is your chosen one? Where is your champion?”
The minister threw a rock at the colossus. “What, we’re not good enough for you? You can’t just push us around! If we all work together, we’ll tear down the capitalist world you and the other colossi represent! We’re stronger than you are!”
The colossus blinked. “What will you do, then? How will you challenge me?”
“Get the tents, boys!” The mayor glared. “You’re gonna be sorry, man. We’re gonna camp out right here, and there’s nothing you can legally do to get rid of us. We’re gonna sing songs and tell the masses what a mess you’re making of this world. We’re gonna bring the whole corrupt system down!”
The colossus leaned down, looking the mayor in the eye. Then he crushed the man with the fifteen tons of metal and stone that made up his giant hand. He wiped the mayor off on the ground, leaving a long smear of natural hemp clothes and blood.
No one moved for several seconds, but then a slow, steady bongo beat filled the field. It had no musical quality, tune, or sense of timing, but somehow, it caused the people to begin a spastic, incoherent dance. They flailed as if they were in pain, their bodies twisting and contorting, the music seeming to be mangling their spines.
The colossus watched them for a few minutes, gore dripping from its fist. “This is…an unintended consequence.”
The minister laughed, kicking off his flip-flops. “Serves you right, you corporate stooge! We’re all the chosen one! We’re the masses, and we can’t be ignored!”
“I am indeed having a difficult time ignoring you. Still, where is your champion, the prophesied one?”
“I told you, we’re all chosen ones! We’re not gonna be reduced to the power of just one man! We have the real power, man, and we just have to take it!”
The colossus’ eyes lit up. “Then let our battle begin!”
The people sang songs and danced, a wave of positivity striking the creature full on in the chest. Given that the colossus weighed hundreds of tons and that positivity wasn’t actually a weapon, it had little effect on the colossus as it proceeded to cleave through every last person there, bludgeoning them with a bank it had ripped from its foundation.
Behind it, another colossus in a forty foot tall business suit passed it a huge check. It tucked it into its pocket, the two of them skipping hadn-in-hand into the sunset.